How Simple Greetings Affect One’s Day

I woke up in the wrong side of the bed, so to speak, and don’t feel alright. Maybe it was caused by a bad dream which I can’t recall…or something, the thing was, it's enough to start my day in a “heavy” foot. However, while doing my morning ablutions, my cell phone beeps and when I read the message, it’s just a simple “good morning” from a friend at the other side of the globe. So simple, isn’t it? Very inexpensive but it touches the heart and smile away the bad moods.

That’s it. A simple, inexpensive and effortless gesture starts our day bright and happy. My grandma used to say “try to start the day with a positive note because it will dictate how you make your day."  That's why I make it a habit to greet everyone in the family first thing in the morning , and say it with a smile. Yes, a habit which I really see to it that my husband and children caught and practice too.

A happy start usually ends up with a fruitful day. Happiness is in the heart; it somehow coats our emotions and safeguards us on whatever disappointments we meet during the day. If a person is at peace with the world,  he will see things in a positive way, downgrading the negatives. This mood is contagious, by the way. A smile for instance, is a simple way of greeting but  it does create a chain of reaction, making more people set up a good mood for the day. Isn't it awesome?

So let us do what makes us happy, and others too. Let us start now. Greet your friends, your loved ones, near or far away. Cellphones and internet make them just “fingertips” away. They may be feeling down right now and your greetings will somehow lighten their spirits,  and smile away their bad moods too.

Greetings! Make it a habit, a very nice and beautiful habit.Try it now to a familiar face or to a stranger next to you, give a smile or say "hi." The world will be a better and brighter place to live.

Reasons why Marriage Vows are not Kept Forever

“In richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…till death do us part”, from time immemorial until this day, these are the exact words uttered by the bride and groom when they commit themselves to marriage. These marriage vows are taken seriously by everyone, especially by the two major participants, and at that particular moment they really mean it. Why then, the annulment and legal separation or divorce after a couple of years or months? Is forever having a different meaning now?

When we say commitment, it is a responsibility, a duty to be fulfilled and kept come what may, and so is marriage, especially marriage because it is a lifetime commitment. That is why, before the wedding occurs, so much planning and preparations are made. The future bride and groom undergo seminars; from the government and from the church. Many people are involved in the preparation, why? Because this event is not just an ordinary everyday affair, it is an event which signals the start of a new life for two different individuals. Marriage is a lifetime commitment for two different personalities who will spend their future as partners, trying to face the uncertainties of life together.

If the marriage is pre-planned and both wholeheartedly commit oneself to another, why are there many broken marriages? Here are some reasons from the experts: 

1.  Young couples – marriages which involve young people tend to be shaky. The passion is intense and they thought it’s enough basis to get married. When the intensity of “burning” passion lessens, the weight of marriage responsibilities becomes heavier each day. The maturity level cannot compete with the adjustments of married life.    
2. Unplanned pregnancy – modern times don’t adhere on tradition (consummation of marriage) thus, unplanned pregnancy usually leads to unplanned marriage which also leads to unplanned difficulties of having a new family. Unpreparedness for a new life together eventually resulted to broken marriages. 
3. Financially unstable – starting a family is like starting a business, to put it bluntly. No capital, no gain. An industrial partner is okay but if both are, the marriage will not prosper. The purpose of marriage is to start a family, and starting means independence… in almost everything. 
4. Different priorities – adjustment is the key. As both are two separate individuals (even if the marriage says they become one), the clashes of personalities visit once in a while or maybe often at the first years of marriage.    
5. Work/job – without job, the marriage is doomed and so, is overwork. Both shouldn’t make work a hindrance too. Tired from work, overtimes, out-of-towns, these can loosen the bond of married couples if communication and quality times are affected.   
6. Absence of caring gestures – the rapport and sweetness that deepen the feelings for each other while in courtship or before the marriage shouldn’t be lost through the years of marriage. These loving gestures are the important spices that sweeten the married life. These are the little threads that strengthen the tie that holds together the couple.    
7. Familiarity – sometimes (and most often than not) familiarity tends to lose the respect for both, though unintentionally. “Please”, “I’m sorry”, and other amenities like helping the wife in her tasks or asking the husband’s day at work are forgotten. Being careful in choice of words or actions is ignored because of the feeling of familiarity.    
8. Third party intervention – this is always the case when either one is not in good terms with in-laws. Instead of good advices in times of adjustments, third party’s sidings with kin create more walls to the couple.    
9. Legal separation or divorce – the legalities of separation whatever the reasons are, do not help the patching-up of whatever trouble existing between the couple. The “trying hard” is not hard enough because there is an alternative solution that either of the two or both is seeing, instead of holding on to the binding words of the preacher when they uttered their marriage vows “what God has joint together let no man asunder.”

The meaning of forever in marriage vows may keep on changing depending on one’s perspective or experience, but one thing is for sure: when the bride and groom say their vows to each other during their wedding day, they really mean the words. Their promise to love each other comes from the heart. But love is not enough though it is the foundation; adjustments mean many things to consider. Marriage is a work-in-process that both individuals should face and participate in, they should always be partners in their new life together, enjoying and welcoming each day of knowing and learning about each other…a lifetime of sharing “in richer or poorer…till death do us part.”

Some Insights on Marriage

Marriage is a commitment, and a serious one at that. It is a contract; but unlike the usual contracts, its tenure is forever. There is no probationary or contractual basis, the job is long term and permanent. Before the contract becomes binding, you and your partner have to take an oath and signed your name in the presence of witnesses.It seems so hard, especially the decision-making. The question is: Shall I? Can I?

In committing oneself into something or entering into any agreement which needs a contract, there are basic steps to undergo. In marriage, here are the prerequisites:

• Getting acquainted- getting to know each other. If the attraction is more than friends, the next step follows.

• Wooing stage-the attraction is getting deeper and the guy wanted a proprietary hold on the girl’s attention and feelings.

• Boyfriend-girlfriend stage-there is a mutual understanding, the existence of deeper feelings for each other. This is a kind of commitment but is more like probationary. It is like a testing period if they click or not. The relationship can go on or off.

• Engagement period-both are assured about their emotions and agreed to get married to start the journey together as man and wife. 
• Planning stage-it follows after the engagement which signals the preparation of the wedding. It is the most tedious stage. Be it simple or grand, a wedding needs so much time to prepare everything; the license, the seminars, the church, the entourage, the reception, the honeymoon, etc. Physically, emotionally, and financially, the bride and groom undergo these hurdles.  
• The wedding itself-the excitement, the mixed emotions...the realization of dreams...the end of one phase of life and the beginning of another journey with a partner, for life.

Pressures, stress, not mentioning the pre-wedding jitters and the adjustments of having instant additional families for both, these can be discouraging and make people think twice. However, these reasons are not enough to dissuade people not to get married. Statistics show that more than 2 million Americans get married every year and billions were spent for the weddings. The most popular wedding month is June, hence the “June bride”. Although data states that it is still true in America, it is however not the fashion in other countries. Today, practicality is the name of the month; like this month, December, many of my friends and acquaintances get married and are getting married. Here are their reasons why:

•   This month is more financially stable, bonuses are given.

•   It is a festive month, it’s like the world is preparing for the wedding.

• It is a nice time to start a new life, a new journey with someone you wanted to grow old with…someone to be with, welcoming the New Year.

Marriage is a complex process, before and after the wedding, and not an easy task for everyone concerned especially the bride and the groom but everything is worth it. The contract that binds both to each other is not only a piece of paper but a contract that has the blessings of not only the authorized person who officiates but by the ALMIGHTY GOD HIMSELF. “In richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…till death do us part."

Knowing Your Friends through Different Layers of Attachment

The meaning of the word “friend” varies with the conceptual description of an individual…and sometimes also, basing on his own experience. As we all know “experience is the best teacher”, a very over-used line but grudgingly, still a fact.

Friends can be defined through “layers” of feelings or attachment:

• New friend. You can call someone a friend even if he is just an acquaintance: I want you to meet my new friend.  This stage can move on into a deeper relationship or will remain in the “hi and hello” stage.
•  “Hi and hello” friend- this can be a newly-meet friend or an old acquaintance. The friendship didn’t prosper but still existing.
• An Ally. Others call someone a friend if he is not a foe: is he a friend or an enemy? This kind of friendship is a “freelancer”. 
• “Affinity” friend. There is an affection existing between two individuals. A rapport. This feeling is not measured with the length of time. There are persons who “clicked” even just newly acquainted; and there are “friends” who remain on the “hi and hello” stage even after years of knowing each other.
• Good friends- there are emotional ties existing between individuals. Trust and affection is starting to develop.
• Best friends/special friends- they say that you only have one best friend (that’s why there is that superlative “best” which means the “most”); however, there are times when some things needed to be said to one person and can’t be told to another even those different persons are both very close to your heart. It does liken to some personal things of a woman (make-ups, etc.) each is different and has its own particular usage; all are important but each has its own specific role, same as in individuals. So, you can have as many best friends as you can, depending on your degree of needs or depending on how many special friends you have keep through the years.

Friendship can be found and developed even in a distance, especially nowadays wherein the modern technology bridges the gaps between places...and between people even of different races. A person can have “instant friends” though websites. Nowadays, being old is not a hindrance in learning and adapting to the “internet age” although of course, older people find it harder...to “start”. Upon learning the basics, they just content themselves to the simple  and uncomplicated knowledge offered by the “new world” (emails, chat, simple games, and research). The important thing is, they can communicate with friends and loved ones.

Not straying away from the main topic which is "friend and its layers of emotional ties", another kind of friend or friendship exists. Although it’s not between individuals, there is also an emotional attachment present in this kind of “friendship”. As dog is a man’s best friend before, PC and/or cell phones are the modern best friends of today’s civilization. These things are like body part’s extensions which are very important to one’s existence and vital contemporary means for nurturing relationships (communications)… like in friendship and love.

Making a story with a pen

I was thinking of a new subject to write and while at it, I keep on browsing FB and scan its updates. One of the interesting news I read was about the “special accomplishment” of a very close friend of mine. I was not surprised by her success because I have seen her works. The first time I saw those pictures, I really was captivated. This very talented young lady can capture the beauty of a thing and transfer it in a canvass or on anything she loves to paint or draw into. Yes, if a poet or storyteller can use words to paint something, this young woman can make a story by her pen or pencil or charcoal…and the modern technology makes her better, if not the best  in her field of Arts.

Congratulations cute! More success...more drawings.

a few days of going and looking back...a freshener

Sometimes, we just don't realize that we need some breather...a different scenario for our thoughts, and also for our sights. A few days of different environment refreshes mindsets and physiological perspectives...a taste of forgotten memories in a certain place and moments.
 
A few days, a few hours...an eternity of thoughts and reminiscences. So many people, strangers...a few friends but lasting ones...different foods for the same palates...different languages for the same tongues. I missed the things i didn't know i miss...A tinge of wanting, a silent whisper of the heart for the past emotions...I thought i forgot things that were a "has been"...but now, they're my visitors again.


For the time being, i'll open my heart, my mind, my memory. Like a PC, i'll save it for later. For now, i'll go back even just for a while...and then tomorrow, i'll face reality again.

Family week: It's like a whirlwind

Has anyone experienced traveling like this in one day? From the house, we rode a tricycle going to the seaport; then riding a fast craft to another port; tricycle to the terminal of GT liner (v-hire before) which will only be until their own terminal; taxi to the airport; plane to another airport; then taxi to the bus terminal; 3 hours bus to another terminal; then, taxi to the place you're staying for days before coming back to the place of origin, going through the same process of traveling...again. Hah! is it worth it? yes, if it means (between the intervals of traveling) you have met and seen your family again whom you haven't...for years.

Every minute counts...every day is priceless...every hardship is worth it because you once again created a memory; bonded a stronger tie with your loved ones; and added some pages for your travel experience and stories book.These all  made you wiser and more knowledgeable...despite of the tiredness and exhaustion, both physical and emotional...the twin effect of every enriching experience.