The Filipino New Year’s Common Customs, Traditions and Beliefs

The New Year’s customs and traditions change as the years go by but the essence  of the celebration remains the same. I can still remember the way my parents prepare sumptuous foods which the family will share at midnight after praying, before the New Year signals its arrival. However poor or rich people are, they really give it a blast… to have something unusual or “bonggang handaan “ which means in local  lingo as very grand celebration of the New Year. 

The difference between the statuses of life is the way they celebrated this special event. The well-to-do families throw a party or attend parties of friends, while the less fortunate celebrates New Year with just the family members around; also, the kind of foods and entertainment, will tell the difference.The common denominator between the rich and poor is the spirit of preparing something and anything to welcome the arrival of the New Year.

Some of the common New Year's practices of Filipinos are: 

• Preparation of round-shaped fruits. Others say 7 kinds while others say 12 kinds of these fruits which signify the 12 months of the year. Round-shaped fruits because these represent prosperity and bountiful harvest or opportunity. 
• Wearing polka-dot dress or clothing. The same concept as the fruits. 
• General house cleaning. This is to drive away the past misfortunes and negative vibes of the previous year.
• Buying of new things. People’s beliefs that what you have, prepare or do before the year ends will be the measuring stick of what the incoming year will provide.
• Blowing of horns, banging something or making noise, and fireworks. These are believed to be casting off of evils or bad elements.
• Children jumping when midnight strikes. This belief signifies that young people will grow taller when they jump 10 times or as many and as high as they can.
• Cooking and preparing assorted foods. Like all the above-mentioned beliefs, this one means abundance and prosperity. People believe that if you prepare much and different foods, the incoming year will give you more blessings and you will not experience hunger. 
• The undying preparation and presentation of lechon (roasted pig) as the main symbol of prosperity in the banquet or festivities

With more or less 120 Philippine languages or Filipino dialects, practices and customs vary among its group. However and whatever the variations and differences of the preparation and celebration of New Year’s are, the simple fact remains; people in one country or people around the globe celebrate New Year regardless of culture, of distance, of race, and of religious faith.

A very positive and bountiful New Year to everyone!

Happy New Year!

It's now past 11pm, just a few more minutes and the old year will leave to give way to the new one. Here at the terrace, I can see the fireworks, hear the loud music, and see people walking even at this late hour. The signs of merry-making seem everywhere...and yet, I feel sad. 

Maybe it's the place, or maybe it's because it's the first time in years that we spent it alone, just the two of us...or maybe, we're getting older and the "silence" of the place heightens the feeling of "aloneness", or the usual things that  we used to have (the company, the foods, and the partying until dawn) are absent, and maybe I’m missing it? ...or maybe, because New Year is special and most people welcome it with noise and stay awake until midnight or till the wee hours of the morning, which this new place do not adhere too much.

Whatever, I don't want to be melancholic because I can still remember the old saying "never sigh nor feel sad or shed a tear in welcoming the New Year because you will be like that for a year", and who wants to be sad for that long? Huh! No one, of course, so I have to start channeling my mind to some positive thoughts and do some fruitful deeds (like writing something, just to shoo away the bad feelings...or look for something to eat and just have a yakult nearby in case of indigestion ) and greet the New Year with a smile, in my lips and in my heart.

Once again, I’m thanking the modern technology for inventing cell phones and internet which made possible the greetings and wishes of friends and loved ones to be sent and received regardless of distance and time difference.

Just a tick away and its midnight already…5…4…3…2…1…it’s New Year! 2011 is here and I’m still wide awake to welcome it. Horns are blowing…pots, cans, fireworks…everyone’s way of greeting the New Year. Happy New Year! I do hope, this year, it is really a happy new year.

After the noise subsided, and before I go to sleep, I will be on my knees to say my thanks and ask for forgiveness for whatever I have done wrong in the previous year…to wish for fruitful and blissful year, and to ask HIM to guide me, us, in this New Year of unseen journey. God Bless!

Some Insights on Marriage

Some Insights on Marriage

How Simple Greetings Affect One’s Day

I woke up in the wrong side of the bed, so to speak, and don’t feel alright. Maybe it was caused by a bad dream which I can’t recall…or something, the thing was, it's enough to start my day in a “heavy” foot. However, while doing my morning ablutions, my cell phone beeps and when I read the message, it’s just a simple “good morning” from a friend at the other side of the globe. So simple, isn’t it? Very inexpensive but it touches the heart and smile away the bad moods.

That’s it. A simple, inexpensive and effortless gesture starts our day bright and happy. My grandma used to say “try to start the day with a positive note because it will dictate how you make your day."  That's why I make it a habit to greet everyone in the family first thing in the morning , and say it with a smile. Yes, a habit which I really see to it that my husband and children caught and practice too.

A happy start usually ends up with a fruitful day. Happiness is in the heart; it somehow coats our emotions and safeguards us on whatever disappointments we meet during the day. If a person is at peace with the world,  he will see things in a positive way, downgrading the negatives. This mood is contagious, by the way. A smile for instance, is a simple way of greeting but  it does create a chain of reaction, making more people set up a good mood for the day. Isn't it awesome?

So let us do what makes us happy, and others too. Let us start now. Greet your friends, your loved ones, near or far away. Cellphones and internet make them just “fingertips” away. They may be feeling down right now and your greetings will somehow lighten their spirits,  and smile away their bad moods too.

Greetings! Make it a habit, a very nice and beautiful habit.Try it now to a familiar face or to a stranger next to you, give a smile or say "hi." The world will be a better and brighter place to live.

Reasons why Marriage Vows are not Kept Forever

“In richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…till death do us part”, from time immemorial until this day, these are the exact words uttered by the bride and groom when they commit themselves to marriage. These marriage vows are taken seriously by everyone, especially by the two major participants, and at that particular moment they really mean it. Why then, the annulment and legal separation or divorce after a couple of years or months? Is forever having a different meaning now?

When we say commitment, it is a responsibility, a duty to be fulfilled and kept come what may, and so is marriage, especially marriage because it is a lifetime commitment. That is why, before the wedding occurs, so much planning and preparations are made. The future bride and groom undergo seminars; from the government and from the church. Many people are involved in the preparation, why? Because this event is not just an ordinary everyday affair, it is an event which signals the start of a new life for two different individuals. Marriage is a lifetime commitment for two different personalities who will spend their future as partners, trying to face the uncertainties of life together.

If the marriage is pre-planned and both wholeheartedly commit oneself to another, why are there many broken marriages? Here are some reasons from the experts: 

1.  Young couples – marriages which involve young people tend to be shaky. The passion is intense and they thought it’s enough basis to get married. When the intensity of “burning” passion lessens, the weight of marriage responsibilities becomes heavier each day. The maturity level cannot compete with the adjustments of married life.    
2. Unplanned pregnancy – modern times don’t adhere on tradition (consummation of marriage) thus, unplanned pregnancy usually leads to unplanned marriage which also leads to unplanned difficulties of having a new family. Unpreparedness for a new life together eventually resulted to broken marriages. 
3. Financially unstable – starting a family is like starting a business, to put it bluntly. No capital, no gain. An industrial partner is okay but if both are, the marriage will not prosper. The purpose of marriage is to start a family, and starting means independence… in almost everything. 
4. Different priorities – adjustment is the key. As both are two separate individuals (even if the marriage says they become one), the clashes of personalities visit once in a while or maybe often at the first years of marriage.    
5. Work/job – without job, the marriage is doomed and so, is overwork. Both shouldn’t make work a hindrance too. Tired from work, overtimes, out-of-towns, these can loosen the bond of married couples if communication and quality times are affected.   
6. Absence of caring gestures – the rapport and sweetness that deepen the feelings for each other while in courtship or before the marriage shouldn’t be lost through the years of marriage. These loving gestures are the important spices that sweeten the married life. These are the little threads that strengthen the tie that holds together the couple.    
7. Familiarity – sometimes (and most often than not) familiarity tends to lose the respect for both, though unintentionally. “Please”, “I’m sorry”, and other amenities like helping the wife in her tasks or asking the husband’s day at work are forgotten. Being careful in choice of words or actions is ignored because of the feeling of familiarity.    
8. Third party intervention – this is always the case when either one is not in good terms with in-laws. Instead of good advices in times of adjustments, third party’s sidings with kin create more walls to the couple.    
9. Legal separation or divorce – the legalities of separation whatever the reasons are, do not help the patching-up of whatever trouble existing between the couple. The “trying hard” is not hard enough because there is an alternative solution that either of the two or both is seeing, instead of holding on to the binding words of the preacher when they uttered their marriage vows “what God has joint together let no man asunder.”

The meaning of forever in marriage vows may keep on changing depending on one’s perspective or experience, but one thing is for sure: when the bride and groom say their vows to each other during their wedding day, they really mean the words. Their promise to love each other comes from the heart. But love is not enough though it is the foundation; adjustments mean many things to consider. Marriage is a work-in-process that both individuals should face and participate in, they should always be partners in their new life together, enjoying and welcoming each day of knowing and learning about each other…a lifetime of sharing “in richer or poorer…till death do us part.”

Some Insights on Marriage

Marriage is a commitment, and a serious one at that. It is a contract; but unlike the usual contracts, its tenure is forever. There is no probationary or contractual basis, the job is long term and permanent. Before the contract becomes binding, you and your partner have to take an oath and signed your name in the presence of witnesses.It seems so hard, especially the decision-making. The question is: Shall I? Can I?

In committing oneself into something or entering into any agreement which needs a contract, there are basic steps to undergo. In marriage, here are the prerequisites:

• Getting acquainted- getting to know each other. If the attraction is more than friends, the next step follows.

• Wooing stage-the attraction is getting deeper and the guy wanted a proprietary hold on the girl’s attention and feelings.

• Boyfriend-girlfriend stage-there is a mutual understanding, the existence of deeper feelings for each other. This is a kind of commitment but is more like probationary. It is like a testing period if they click or not. The relationship can go on or off.

• Engagement period-both are assured about their emotions and agreed to get married to start the journey together as man and wife. 
• Planning stage-it follows after the engagement which signals the preparation of the wedding. It is the most tedious stage. Be it simple or grand, a wedding needs so much time to prepare everything; the license, the seminars, the church, the entourage, the reception, the honeymoon, etc. Physically, emotionally, and financially, the bride and groom undergo these hurdles.  
• The wedding itself-the excitement, the mixed emotions...the realization of dreams...the end of one phase of life and the beginning of another journey with a partner, for life.

Pressures, stress, not mentioning the pre-wedding jitters and the adjustments of having instant additional families for both, these can be discouraging and make people think twice. However, these reasons are not enough to dissuade people not to get married. Statistics show that more than 2 million Americans get married every year and billions were spent for the weddings. The most popular wedding month is June, hence the “June bride”. Although data states that it is still true in America, it is however not the fashion in other countries. Today, practicality is the name of the month; like this month, December, many of my friends and acquaintances get married and are getting married. Here are their reasons why:

•   This month is more financially stable, bonuses are given.

•   It is a festive month, it’s like the world is preparing for the wedding.

• It is a nice time to start a new life, a new journey with someone you wanted to grow old with…someone to be with, welcoming the New Year.

Marriage is a complex process, before and after the wedding, and not an easy task for everyone concerned especially the bride and the groom but everything is worth it. The contract that binds both to each other is not only a piece of paper but a contract that has the blessings of not only the authorized person who officiates but by the ALMIGHTY GOD HIMSELF. “In richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…till death do us part."