Reasons why Marriage Vows are not Kept Forever

“In richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…till death do us part”, from time immemorial until this day, these are the exact words uttered by the bride and groom when they commit themselves to marriage. These marriage vows are taken seriously by everyone, especially by the two major participants, and at that particular moment they really mean it. Why then, the annulment and legal separation or divorce after a couple of years or months? Is forever having a different meaning now?

When we say commitment, it is a responsibility, a duty to be fulfilled and kept come what may, and so is marriage, especially marriage because it is a lifetime commitment. That is why, before the wedding occurs, so much planning and preparations are made. The future bride and groom undergo seminars; from the government and from the church. Many people are involved in the preparation, why? Because this event is not just an ordinary everyday affair, it is an event which signals the start of a new life for two different individuals. Marriage is a lifetime commitment for two different personalities who will spend their future as partners, trying to face the uncertainties of life together.

If the marriage is pre-planned and both wholeheartedly commit oneself to another, why are there many broken marriages? Here are some reasons from the experts: 

1.  Young couples – marriages which involve young people tend to be shaky. The passion is intense and they thought it’s enough basis to get married. When the intensity of “burning” passion lessens, the weight of marriage responsibilities becomes heavier each day. The maturity level cannot compete with the adjustments of married life.    
2. Unplanned pregnancy – modern times don’t adhere on tradition (consummation of marriage) thus, unplanned pregnancy usually leads to unplanned marriage which also leads to unplanned difficulties of having a new family. Unpreparedness for a new life together eventually resulted to broken marriages. 
3. Financially unstable – starting a family is like starting a business, to put it bluntly. No capital, no gain. An industrial partner is okay but if both are, the marriage will not prosper. The purpose of marriage is to start a family, and starting means independence… in almost everything. 
4. Different priorities – adjustment is the key. As both are two separate individuals (even if the marriage says they become one), the clashes of personalities visit once in a while or maybe often at the first years of marriage.    
5. Work/job – without job, the marriage is doomed and so, is overwork. Both shouldn’t make work a hindrance too. Tired from work, overtimes, out-of-towns, these can loosen the bond of married couples if communication and quality times are affected.   
6. Absence of caring gestures – the rapport and sweetness that deepen the feelings for each other while in courtship or before the marriage shouldn’t be lost through the years of marriage. These loving gestures are the important spices that sweeten the married life. These are the little threads that strengthen the tie that holds together the couple.    
7. Familiarity – sometimes (and most often than not) familiarity tends to lose the respect for both, though unintentionally. “Please”, “I’m sorry”, and other amenities like helping the wife in her tasks or asking the husband’s day at work are forgotten. Being careful in choice of words or actions is ignored because of the feeling of familiarity.    
8. Third party intervention – this is always the case when either one is not in good terms with in-laws. Instead of good advices in times of adjustments, third party’s sidings with kin create more walls to the couple.    
9. Legal separation or divorce – the legalities of separation whatever the reasons are, do not help the patching-up of whatever trouble existing between the couple. The “trying hard” is not hard enough because there is an alternative solution that either of the two or both is seeing, instead of holding on to the binding words of the preacher when they uttered their marriage vows “what God has joint together let no man asunder.”

The meaning of forever in marriage vows may keep on changing depending on one’s perspective or experience, but one thing is for sure: when the bride and groom say their vows to each other during their wedding day, they really mean the words. Their promise to love each other comes from the heart. But love is not enough though it is the foundation; adjustments mean many things to consider. Marriage is a work-in-process that both individuals should face and participate in, they should always be partners in their new life together, enjoying and welcoming each day of knowing and learning about each other…a lifetime of sharing “in richer or poorer…till death do us part.”